Gotta live

I told my family that I’m pregnant yesterday and they said if I wanted to keep the baby then me and Ian would have to move out and get are own place because there’s not enough space in my family home for Ian and the baby.

I discussed all my options with my family and have spoke with Ian and we have both decided that if this had happened in a years time we could keep the baby and be a family but we agreed its not the right time because we have only been together for nearly six months,we don’t have alot of money and if we had a baby we would want to give it everything we could and at the moment were not in that situation where we can.

I don’t won’t a abortion and I would love to go through with this pregnancy but I couldn’t bring this baby into a unstable life also I’m still young I want to live my life and travel and get a good job, buy a house and be married and I know that I can’t guarantee I will ever have any of that but I have to give my self a chance in life because other wise I will also blame the baby and Ian for me being so young when we had children.

Also I keep thinking about ending things with Toni because I can’t keep having this affair because it will just come out things like that always do and then I will lose Ian and I can’t not at the moment when he has been making me so happy.

I have cooled things down with Toni and know that I can’t keep it up for much longer but since I fell pregnant he has asked me to marry him and wants me to move in with him and said he will provide for the baby.

Which Sounds great but I wouldn’t be as I would just be unhappy again ad how could he live with me and bring up a baby that isn’t his also my family would disown me if I got back with Toni and married him and I’m not willing to lose my family over a guy who has cheated and lied and played mind games and was very controlling and would raise his hand to me.

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