Finding it hard to cope

On the 18th argust at two in the morning i started to bleed and i got really worried so i text Ian and tried to ring him but he didnt awnser because he was probably asleep. So in the morning i told my mum about it and she rang the out of hours doctor and they said they thought i was misscarring and so i went up to the hospital and i tried ringing Ian to let him know and text him but he was ignoring my calls and texts. I asked one of my friends who i met who is going out with Ians best friend and asked if they could text him to see if he was ignoring me.

Later on that day after being at the hospital for five hours the doctors said there was nothing they could do to confirm what was happening with the baby.

When i got home i got a text from Ian having ago at me for getting people involved and making them feel uncomftable, he also said that why would i contact him as its not like he could do anything.
I knew he couldnt do anything to stop it but i wanted and needed him there as i was having to go through it all on my own.

I then text my friend and said that i wad really sorry if i had made her feel uncomftable and she said that she didnt feel that way and that she was more than happy to help as that is what friends are for.

The next day i was in alot of pain and was bleeding very heavily and i lost the baby on the 19th of argust around four oclock. I wasnt going to tell Ian as he made it perfectly clear that he didnt care and he never did. But it was also his baby and i didnt want anybody eles to be the messenger as thats not fair on them.

I had deleted his number as i had decided even tho i love him very much know that i didnt have the baby i could move on with my life.
So when i went to tell him i have to email him, my email told me when he has recieved it and also read it but i never got a reply from him.

I guess thats what hurts more that i had just lost are baby and he didnt seem to care. He could even reply thank you for letting me know or anything.

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9 Responses to Finding it hard to cope

  1. susieslittleinspirations says:

    there is nothing in this would as painful as having to suffer a miscarriage ..i know i’ve been there. My hubby was in England at the time and I was petrified. He probably does care just doesnt know what to say or do…. if he genuinely doesnt care then he is not worth your tears…you need a man who can be with you through the good times and the bad!!!

  2. oh bless you.
    am sorry it is all so crap and I hope things get better.
    look after you – it’s important you are number 1 right now.

  3. asmartrock says:

    He’s an embarrassment not to the few good men out there but to mankind in general. I’m not an honorable man, but by God, when I found out that I got my casual girlfriend pregnant, I had to step up to the plate and be there. And now we’re married and have been blessed with another child, and a special one with Down Syndrome at that! We were given all the legal and medical justification to terminate the pregnancy, we did not. Our son survived a heart by-pass operation at 4 months old and he’s now a healthy, well-adjusted son and perfect for our eldest child. I got someone pregnant at the age of 40 because I was a partying, drinking, smoking Asian in an emerging market. It was a great time to be single. But when these children came, there was nothing more important than that.

    And my casual girlfriend?

    She’s now my wife whom I thank God gave me the chance to treat her better for the rest of our lives.

    Your ex-boyfriend isn’t a man.

    He’s just another creature with a dick.

  4. overactive ovaries says:

    I am so sorry 😦

  5. cyberbonn says:

    I hope you find happiness.

  6. Pasang Dolma says:

    i am really sorry for the things you had to go through. i am a student now and even though i have no idea about miscarriages and all, i know how it feels when your close ones are not there when you really need them. stay strong.

  7. June says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your honesty helps others who have gone or are going through the same pain. My heart goes out to you.

  8. So sorry for your loss. Having experienced pregnancy loss five times, I know how very confusing, and emotionally draining it can be. I also understand fully how you needed the baby’s father during that time (whether he could ‘do’ anything or not). My dear, you have been through the ringer! A loss of a baby, and a loss of the man who you shared that with. Now is the time for healing for you. Focus on getting stronger, and on your future as an individual.
    Blessings to you,

  9. OffcrGrl says:

    Even though this entry saddens me, you are very strong for the actions you’ve taken. And, you continue to teach others a very valuable lesson…Don’t ever make someone else a priority, when they only make you an option!

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