since i went to my friends funeral and saw toni there i had started to forget about him i had stopped dreaming about him and also stoped thinking and really wasnt bothered about his life as i knew he had a girl friend and there was no way i would ever be able to get him back.
since i started feeling like that me and ian have been getting on really well, we have been getting closer and before i couldnt stop thinking about toni and i always felt like i was just waiting for toni to come back to me and that ian was just a friend that was helping me get over toni, but that all changed and i started looking at him like a boyfriend which is really good.
but a couple of days ago i got told by a friend that toni had finished with his girlfriend and it gave me hope and from then on im dreaming about him again and cant stop thinking about him and i feel like i have another chance to have a relationship with him.
i know that i wouldnt want to be with him but im still in love with him even tho i cant stand him and when i look at pictures of him i cant help but think he looks ugly. but if i think this about him then why cant i get him out my head, i was so happy when i started getting over toni as it gave me and ian a proper chance and he might be a bit of a dick some times but he can also be so sweet and can make me very happy and i would like to give this relationship a proper chance.
i just wish we had a delete botton in are head and we could get rid of all the memories that i dont want, i would probably get rid of all the happy memories and just keep the bad ones with toni and that way i would only dislike him as i wouldnt have any of the good ones to still love him
i was actully watching a movie about people getting certain things wiped from there minds and i was thinking if this was a real thing you could go to the doctors and get this dont would people actually get things wiped from there minds or would they keep them so that they could learn from your mistakes.
leave a comment and let me know. x A x