You never realise how you get used to certain people being around and even if you try forget about it you end up being reminded by something.
It wasn’t intill I got the flu that I really new how much I missed Toni.
I was waiting for him to come home from work and cuddle me and kiss me and him telling me how much he loves me.
And when I was I’ll he would just baby me and look after me as much as he could and I really miss that and I can’t help it.
I thought maybe my feelings would change the more time we were broken up but I would still do anything for a kiss and a cuddle from him right now.
I was thinking earlier about how much I miss him and I was wondering if he still missed me or if he even thinks about me and to be honest I really hope he does because if he doesn’t he obviously stopped loving me while we were together or maybe he didn’t love me in the first place.
As he seems to have moved on with his life as soon as I left and it hurts to know that becuase everyone wants to feel loved and missed.
Especially when you know that the person your yearning for used to love you so much and would do anything for you and now they just don’t care any more that hurts so much and I wish I could change that feeling so much.
I wish I could just forget that he even ever existed and I know that’s not possible and one day I will stop thinking about him but I would anything for it to be that day today.