Last night I slept round Ian’s and I thought he had been acting wired with me all day but I wasn’t sure so I didn’t say anything and then that night while we were having sex he just blurted out saying I think I kinda love you.
I was like omg what so I didn’t say anything and he went all silent and wasn’t acting him self so I brought it up and he was so stroppy with me and was like its fine I wont say it ever again.
So I turned over and was like fuck ya as I can’t be bothered with all the arguments and stuff as I only just got out of being engaged to someone I really loved and still do a little bit.
About an hour later we started talking again and I explained that the only reason I didn’t say it back was because I wasn’t sure if he actually meant it or was just saying it because we were having sex.
And Ian is a bit of a psychic so when we were talking the next day he had his distant look and I asked him what he could see and he said he can see I’m still in love with my ex and that I’m going to kiss someone eles on a night out but he isn’t sure when and then he said that I’m going to have a baby before I’m twenty and I was a bit taken back.
Because obviously I know that I have cheated on toni in the past so I know I’m capable but I didn’t think that I would do it again as I only did it because I was hurt by Toni.
And I didn’t really want him knowing how much I still love Toni as I know how much it hurts when you know the person your with is in love with someone eles.
And then when he said about the baby I was so taken back because all iv wonted for the past three years is a baby and I used to think I would go crazy if I didn’t become a mother. It was somthing I yearned for so much. Me and Toni was trying for a baby for so long and then when we split up I just excepted that I wasn’t going to be a mother for a very long time and know he has said that I want nothing more again.
He says how things he see’s can change and I was thinking would I be so desperate that I would try to have a baby with him or would I just see if it happens.
We are very careful we use condoms and on Wednesday I’m going to the local family planning clinic to get put on some contraception as I had my implant taken out when me and Toni decided we wanted a baby but I was just going to go on the pill and now I’m worrying that if I go on the pill am I gonna be trying to miss a few days and that’s soo bad as I don’t want to trap Ian I only want a baby with him if he wants one too as I hate the girls that purposely get pregnant and trick there partners into it.
Maybe I should just get somthing that can’t be taken out for a few years as that way I know I can’t trick him and if he wants a baby I can always get it taken out.